Joie's blog

I could really use Vox and its privacy filters right now. :/

I'm wide awake; it's mourning.

Now that my initial anger has lessened, all I can feel this morning is sadness over the impending death of Vox.  I visit my neighborhood and see nothing but a slew of posts chronicling our communal frustration and sadness.  I'm not sure any of us will ever find another service with a community aspect we like as much as we've all loved our Vox neighborhoods.

I realized while reading through everyone's posts of where they're moving that waiting to decide on a place might mean some of you don't see when I eventually post it.  So for now, I'll list my Tumblr blog.  I mainly only use it for chronicling silliness, but when I settle into a new blog for more serious purposes, I'll list the URL there in addition to here (in case you've already moved on from Vox, or in case we get a notice tomorrow that the day of closing has been moved up from September 30th to ... yesterday).

While I'm terribly unhappy to know that I'm going to be losing my neighborhood, I also perhaps wonder if this might be a good thing for me.  A lot has changed in my life in the four years since I started this blog--relationships, career goals, life goals for that matter.  I suspect part of the reason I stopped having much interest in writing here was that these changes occurred and it was difficult, sometimes painful, to revisit this place where I'd devoted a lot of writing to times that are now over.  I'm going to greet the unfortunate news of Vox's closing for what it really is: a fresh start.  And I'll of course be tracking all of you down at your new haunts... I hope you'll want to do the same for me!

Bright Eyes has an album called I'm Wide Awake, It's Morning.  I had a friend who was not so great with spelling who once wrote about it as "I'm Wide Awake, It's Mourning."  I always thought that would have been a much more interesting title, and I thought of it this morning as I started this post.

Save Kiana

A friend and coworker posted this article this morning about Kiana Firouz, an Iranian LGBT activist who faces deportation from the UK and almost certain execution at home.  I'm not usually one to write protest emails, but I cannot get this out of my mind and had to do something, however small.  If you haven't heard this story (and it seems like few have), please read the article and consider sending an email to the address provided in the article.  I know it might feel stupid or pointless to do so, but at least it's worth a shot.  If you're so inclined, share the article and spread the word.

Love connection.

I received the following private message today from a "Vox user" named KoyaBaby.  Guys, I think I've found the one.  So eloquent.  So sincere.  The message is as follows:

"Koya200@hotmail.com
Hello Dear,
How are you,hope fine,
My name is Koya I was impressed when I saw your profile here at www.vox.com despite you are in here for an add. and I believe we can have long term relationship. Please I will like you to email me back here at (Koya200@hotmail.com) so I can tell you more about myself ok.
Awaiting for your lovely response
Miss Koya."

For the love of all that is holy, Vox, please get the spam in check. 

Edited to Add:  Did I mention there is no "Report Abuse" or "Report Spam" button for private messages? I don't believe there's one for comments, either.  And the Vox Knowledge Base information about reporting spam instructs you to fill out a "feedback form," and links you... back to the help home page.  You can send a regular ol' email, but sheesh.

Sweet Jeebs.

In Silhouette

I posted a kitty update about a month ago detailing the medical issues Brian and I have been facing with our cats.  I'm so sad to report that last week, Gigabyte lost his fight with FIP.  For the last month he'd been functioning decently on medication; he was eating, but never gaining any weight and never really returning to 100% of the energy level a 6-12-month-old kitten should have.  Last Tuesday morning, we awoke to find him in a very bad state, and though everyone did everything we could for him, by Thursday it was clear he just didn't have the reserves to fight anymore.

I'm still heartbroken.  Last week was devastating and this week has been a struggle just to keep it together, especially when I come home and he's not there to greet me with Fritz.  I can't bring myself to throw away the last can of his favorite food, and I miss him so much when I go to bed and he's not curled up in his own.  It's so difficult to find anything to take comfort in; I've lost pets before, but always after long, happy lives.  Jeebs was only 11 months old.  I still don't know if he had the virus from which FIP mutates when we got him, or if he caught it from Fritz. 

But what I've tried to focus on are the few wonderful months we had with him.  I've been around a lot of cats in my life, but I have never met one as good-natured as sweet little Jeebsie.  He would purr for anyone who touched him.  I kid you not, even when he was at the emergency vet and they were taking his temperature, as long as one of the doctors petted him, he purred.  He was an epic cuddler and lap cat extraordinaire.

comfy

what bliss!

He was also extremely silly and wonderfully weird.  He loved nothing better than to find an odd place to sit or lie down. Favorites included any clothing lying around (and there's a lot of that in my apartment) or the bathtub.

unique bed

hideout

Jeebs had a lot of endearing habits.  One of my favorite things was his complete inability to retract his claws properly, which meant he often got stuck on scratching posts or furniture.  We'd walk in to find him dangling from one paw which couldn't seem to disengage from whatever he'd been scratching; he always looked unconcerned by the situation.  Discipline was always an impossible task; Jeebs remained completely unfazed by raised voices, and if you grabbed him to get him to stop whatever bad behavior he was participating in, he'd simply purr and try to cuddle.

what's in here?

 

sitting pretty

I've learned a lot about FIP as we dealt with these issues.  No disease is a good disease of course, but FIP is especially terrible.  It generally affects kittens and young cats up to 2 years of age; there is no definitive test to identify it, which means by the time you have deduced what it is, your pet is likely to already be nearing the final stages; it is fatal nearly without fail; and the only "vaccine" that exists can hardly be considered one, given how unreliable it is (whether it even works at all hasn't been proven yet) and is actually NOT recommended.  After I recover a bit from vet bills, I'd like to look into making a donation to the Winn Feline Foundation, a group who is working specifically to find treatments for this devastating illness.  Sometime in the near future I might try to do something of an online fundraiser to get a donation together.  The minimum donation is a bit steep, so I'm already thinking of possible fundraisers I could do for it.

Everyone I know has been so kind and supportive in this terrible time, and I'm so grateful for the love so many have sent.  I don't think I could've dealt without that.  I miss Jeebs terribly, but I am so, so happy we got to have his sweet presence in our life, even for just a few brief months.

kitten in a tux

peeking outside

birdwatching

<3

Friday Drabble: "Faux, Not Fake!"

A few weeks ago, friend and Vox neighbor Steve Betz shared with us a new sort of tradition started by one of his own friends--every Friday, they strive to write a "drabble," or a short story of 100 words exactly.  I definitely suggest you check out Steve's if you haven't already.  Today I decided to try my hand at one (and I don't mean to steal Steve's redhead theme here--but my anti-heroine had to be, since she's based on a real person and I couldn't bear to change that particular detail).

"Faux, Not Fake!"

Leigh carefully repinned the polyester poppy in her hair, securing it where her brown roots were just beginning to peek out underneath the Julia Roberts red.  Her attempt at a smile as she pretended to listen to her friend’s story over lunch came out as something closer to a sneer, partially revealing impossibly white teeth in harsh relief against her evenly tanned face and body. As her friend took a bite, Leigh couldn’t resist remarking, “I don’t know how you eat that processed garbage. You should really go organic. I wouldn’t want to put anything so unnatural in my body.”

LET ME TELL YOU 'BOUT MY SCHEDULE

Whew. I know I haven't been posting much lately anyway, and unfortunately my schedule is a bit hectic for the next two months.  I'm going to try to do some regular posting, even if it's just Things on Tuesday and stuff of that nature!  My next several weekends (posted more for my benefit than anyone else's):

Saturday, April 10:  Wedding shower! (Bryan and Stacey.)
Sunday, April 11:  Wedding shower!  (Heather and Eric.)
Saturday, April 17:  Wedding!  (Robin and Sarah.)
Tuesday, April 20: Choir concert!
Monday, April 26: Psi Chi induction ceremony!
Tuesday, April 27:  Choir partay!
Saturday, May 1:  ...Something? Oh geez. I think this is one of Heather's showers.
Satuday, May 8:  SOMETHING...
Saturday, May 15:  Wedding!  (Ben and Amanda.)
Saturday, May 22: OMG NOTHING SO FAR
Saturday, May 29:  HEATHER'S WEDDING!  :D  (Also Bryan's wedding, which I'm sadly unlikely to make.)
Monday, May 31:  Choir concert part deux!
Saturday, June 5:  Wedding!  (Brittney and Xack.)
Satuday, June 12:  Wedding!  (Richard and Natalie.)

CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS MADNESS.  This is leaving out inevitable showers I haven't gotten invites for yet.  LE SHEESH.  But actually, I'm very excited about all of these weddings.  Anyone who knows me will tell you I do not wear dresses often... and I bought 4 dresses in 2 weeks (not even counting the bridesmaid's dress, ha).  Aside from the fact that all my friends are beginning new and exciting phases in their lives, I'm expanding my wardrobe... so really, everyone wins.

Kitty Updates

I'm not sure how much detail I've gone into on here recently, but I'm also too lazy to go back and read through old posts!  Sorry if I repeat myself.  A brief history (with gross details, so maybe don't read if you're eating):

Fritz has been experiencing loose stool since last fall.  We tested him for a boatload o' stuff, and treated him for a boatload o' stuff, with no results.  Gigabyte also started having loose stool in mid-January, which led me to suspect something contagious.  After several weeks on a hellaciously expensive allergen-free diet and no results, I had reached my breaking point and made an appointment for both cats with an internal medicine specialist in Birmingham.  But on the Tuesday the week before their appointment (I could've gotten in sooner, but made the appointment for Spring Break for ease of getting there), GB became very, very ill one night (no appetite, lethargy, watery diarrhea).  A 4-hour trip to the emergency vet and $300 later (which was a lot better than I was expecting), we were given the bad news that GB looked to have FIP.  (If you don't want to read the whole thing, suffice it to say: it's inevitably fatal, and diagnosis can usually only be certain after autopsy--otherwise, you just make an educated guess, basically.)

We were able to move up the cats' appointment to Thursday, but the next day (Wednesday) I freaked out and took GB to my regular vet to get some fluids (and because I was stupid and mistook where they'd taken blood for a wound).  Thursday we went to the internal medicine specialist, who was incredibly cool, kind, and informative--I can't even begin to tell you how helpful his office has been.  Sonograms seemed consistent with the idea of an FIP diagnosis.  We sent off some tests to find out more.

Gigabyte tested in the low positive (but definitely not negative) range for FIP. This is a "fatal, incurable disorder" (so says Wikipedia & textbooks), but can also be managed, and according to someone at the vet's office with 15 years' experience, its course is completely dependent on the individual--as she said, she's seen cases where kittens/cats went downhill in a matter of months, and others where they lived to be 10.  It all comes down to how well you're able to manage it when the immune system encounters the inevitable freak-outs (so to speak) inherent in the disorder, and how well the animal reacts to medication.

So now for some good news.  When we visited, they put GB on an appetite stimulant to get him eating again--and eat he has.  He's been off it for almost a week now and he's still quite the voracious eater (which is good, because he'd lost weight and was already underweight).  He began to seem to feel better immediately after he started eating again.  We also changed their diet to the fiber-rich w/d, which thankfully is less expensive and hey-o---we're already seeing results in the litter box!  Some solid poops!  I never thought I'd see the day.  And because this was scary and now I want to spoil my cats more than ever, they get dry AND canned food.  (I vowed never to give my cats wet food due to the stinky poo factor, but honestly, after all of this, there isn't a stinky poo I can't face.)

GB is currently also taking Prednisone, which I think has him feeling even better.  (Also, sweet merciful goodness: GB, unlike Fritz, is the easiest cat to medicate ever.  Fritz is suspicious of any food you give him. GB wolfs down pill-containing treats without chewing.  WIN).  He seems to be just about back to his old self again.  We'll continue to monitor his progress and adjust his dosage to see how he does.

Fritz tested firmly in the negative range for FIP, meaning he pretty much couldn't have given it to GB, as we had initially suspected.  In an ideal world Fritz would be separate from GB for risk of contracting it, but as they've already been living together some 4-5 months and he hasn't developed it, he's hopefully developed an immunity.  I'm still trying to decide what exactly to think on that topic, but it's too depressing to dwell on right now.

And when I thought I was about to have to decimate a large part of a savings' account to pay for the vet bills of one week, I instead find out that thanks to tuition I paid, my tax return is going to cover almost all of the bills of that week (it literally came within about $30 of being the exact amount I paid at both vets.)  MIRACULOUS LIKE WHOA.

So that's where we stand for now.  I'll keep everyone posted on any changes, but hopefully we'll be able to manage GB's illness easily and he'll live a long and happy life--complete with canned food.

Media Madness!

Let's see--do you think Vox can remain stable long enough for me to make this most?  :/  No luck so far...

This week has been Spring Break--which means I probably should've gotten a lot more done than I have!  Oh well.  Here's a look at what I have been or will be watching/reading/listening to.

Movies

He's Just Not That Into You

He's Just Not That Into You.  I have to say, ever since I heard of this book, the very title has annoyed the bejeezus out of me.  But previews for the movie actually looked decent to me, so I gave it a chance, and... meh.  I would say Jennifer Anniston's and Ben Affleck's characters were the only likable ones in the whole movie.  It's kind of difficult to root for people who are callous, or annoyingly neurotic, or cheaters, or mistresses, or generally uninteresting... and that about sums up the rest of the characters in the movie.  I'd give it 2-and-a-half stars if Netflix would give me that damn half!

Television

I've been on an insane TV kick lately--I've actually had very little interest in movies, which is unusual for me.  But TV!  How I love thee.

My new favorite Lostie?

"Dr. Linus," LOST.  Yeah, that's right--I'm writing about a single freaking episode.  THAT'S HOW GOOD IT WAS.  Ben Linus is probably LOST's most interesting character--it's always been hard to tell just how much good or evil is in him (very Severus Snape), but even when he's at his most evil, there's still something likable about him.  Last week's episode "Dr. Linus" took a look at his alternate-reality life as well as exploring the choices he would make on the island in the present, and it was probably one of the best LOST episodes ever.  Steve Betz and I both agree, like it or not--Ben is going to have to bite it at some point before the series ends.  But I hope we get another Ben-centric episode before that happens!

Coupling - The Complete Seasons 1-4

Coupling, Seasons 2-4.  I wrote previously about how much Brian and I enjoyed the first season of this risque but hilarious British comedy, and Seasons 2 and 3 only got better.  I don't think I've yet seen an episode where I didn't laugh out loud at least once, and several episodes have required the ol' pause to laugh for a few minutes - rewind - rewatch and relaugh.  I wish I could say season 4 was as strong, but it's just not.  We've got an episode and a half left (that we were able to stop mid-episode is testament to how much less we're enjoying this season), but I don't have high hopes.  The unexplained departure of a main character, replacement of said character with another who lacks any charm, and an increased reliance on fantasy sequences (every episode!!!) probably dealt the fatal blows to this otherwise great series.

Project Runway

Project Runway.  Okay, Reality TV: You win.  I tried to hate you for so long, but you keep throwing these things at me that I just eat. up.  I wish I had gotten into this show when it began, because as I understand it, Lifetime has really butchered it--and given the IMPOSSIBLY cheesy references to sponsors of the show ("Okay, contestants, take your models to the Garnier hair salon, then to the L'Oreal Paris makeup room, and be sure to visit the Bluefly Wall for your accessories"--I'm not making that line up, people), I believe this accusation.  IT'S STILL AMAZING.  I'm in awe of these people and now desperately want to learn to make clothes, ha!  I'll have to go back and check out the older season DVDs to experience the show in all its previous glory.  Oh, and speaking of reality television I love despite how un-fashionable I am in real life...

ANTM

America's Next Top Model, Cycle 14.  Yeah, this is my total guilty pleasure.  The new season just started last week and it is as full of the ridiculousness that I love as any other.  I missed last night's episode but I know one of the three I was rooting for has already been eliminated--so I don't have high hopes that this will end for me like last season, with my favorites as the Final 2.

Parenthood

Parenthood.  Lately I've been attracted to stories of people whose lives are completely different than what mine is or likely will be.  This usually manifests itself in me obsessively reading blogs like Dooce and Daily Coyote, but now I have a new obsession--the NBC show Parenthood.  Now I am not completely convinced this show is good yet, but it does star Lauren Graham, so I must watch.  So far I'm enjoying it a lot--but I'm afraid they're going to have to do a little more to get me to like most of these characters in a more long-term arc.  I think it's worth checking out if it sounds interesting to you, and NBC has all 3 episodes that have aired so far available to view online.

Books

Buddhism: A Very Short Introduction

Buddhism: A Very Short Introduction.  This series seems amazing.  Cynics will say it's lazy to base an entire book series on condensed explanations of complicated topics--I say it's overwhelming how much information is out there, and it's amazingly refreshing to find a brief introductory text to enable you to find your footing before diving in deeper to any given topic of interest.  And when I say "any," I mean any.  I got this from the library, where it was added to the collection 10 years ago, when there were a handful of these, mostly on religion and philosophy.  Take a look at the series' website though and you'll see they've added quite a lot since then.  Definitely worth checking out.  I'm not sure how to explain my choice beyond "Buddhism fascinates me," so there you go.

Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia

Eat, Pray, Love.  I don't know if I should be embarrassed that I'm about to read this--is this one of those books you're supposed to be embarrassed to read?  In any event I don't care, I saw Elizabeth Gilbert on the recent PBS series This Emotional Life and wanted to read her book.  Shortly after getting it I found out not only is there a sequel that just came out, there's also a movie of this book coming out.  I start reading it tonight and can't wait!

Music

(500) Days Of Summer-Music From The Motion Picture

500 Days of Summer--Soundtrack.  That's right--I loved this movie so much that not only did I spend money on the DVD, I spent money on the soundtrack.  Actually it's just a really good soundtrack full of songs and artists I wanted to explore more, so there ya go.

Apparently I'm supposed to have one of these on my knee.

The banjo.  ...I've been playing it.  That's it.

Mandolin

The mandolin.  ...I've been playing it, too.  Bluegrass mania!

Chatroulette, je t'aime

You may have heard recently of a relatively new website called Chatroulette.  (I linked to this excellent article on Facebook a few weeks back.)  In case you don't know, it is a website that uses your webcam to randomly--and anonymously--connect you to another person anywhere in the world.  You can choose to talk or type, even to just disable your webcam and lurk (although where's the fun in that?).  When you want to move on, you simply click "Next" to find a new person--unless your conversation partner clicks "Next" first, which they will often do with alarming frequency and speed. I did everything to resist this website for as long as I could--but a week ago (can it really only have been a week?) I gave in to temptation.  The result?

I spent almost every night last week using this service.

To be perfectly honest with you, it begins as the creepiest thing you can imagine.  Aside from the voyeurism and the invasion into your own privacy, you can imagine the sort of--ahem--less than savory images you are going to encounter.  (Some nights seem to have been worse than others, but at the height of the Phallic Hour, as I have dubbed 11pm-midnight, I would say I encountered 1 penis per 5 interactions.)  Unless you're boozed up or have a friend with you to cut the blow, you will get your feelings hurt when people next you for no discernible reason, or worse: when they give you a reason by first yelling "Yuck!" or flip you off.  But after awhile, it's surprising how numbed you become to wankers, nexters, and general weirdos--and this is when you become addicted.

I've met B, a fun college student from Washington with whom I've actually kept in touch.  There was a silly but kind college student from Turkey whom I called Paul McCartney after he dubbed me Michelle--he shared with me some of his most embarrassing life stories before we were unexpectedly disconnected, and I thought of him today after hearing about the earthquake, hoping he's okay and out of harm's way.  I spent the better part of an hour talking to an Australian expatriate living in Ireland, whose wife did not know he was online talking to girls (a um, somewhat common theme).  Brian and I came across the Jonas Brothers, who disappeared when we asked them to hold up a peace sign, revealing a room full of black guys laughing their asses off that we'd figured them out.  A trio of young guys declared "LESBIANS!" when they caught a glimpse of me and Brian with long-ish hair (not to mention the two separate encounters where people inexplicably asked Brian if he was Ray Romano).   We also spent quite awhile talking music with a nice middle-aged man from Kansas.  (You may note none of these interactions involve girls.  The girls on Chatroulette, rare as they are, have no interest in talking to another girl.  So far I've really only talked to one--she and her male roommate, both from Winnipeg, had my friend Matt and I doubled over in laughter.  It was the silliest conversation I've had on Chatroulette, and probably the most fun.)

But I have to say my absolute favorite interaction so far came on my very first day using the service a week ago, at this exact time actually.  It was maybe the fourth person I came across and the first to talk to me; he was a French father of three who said his name was François, and I later wondered if this was a joke of a pseudonym to fool a silly American girl who would eat it up, not unlike me telling someone my name is Scarlett O'Hara.  We talked to one another for over an hour, and it felt like a 21st-century French romance film.  We discussed music, art, love, relationships... and generally had a wonderful connection.  I had every intention of passing along my email address at the end of our conversation in the hopes of making a great new email pen pal.  Toward the end of our conversation he lamented, "I wish you spoke French!"--I agreed--and then he looked perplexed.  There was a long pause and he held up his keyboard. 

"Keyboard?" I asked.  He nodded.
"Not working?"  I asked.  He nodded.
"You let the batteries die!"  He shook his head.  "Hmmm," I sent, before beginning to type, "Would you like to keep in touch?"
Your partner has disconnected. Press "Next" to find a new partner!

I sat, mouth gaping, starting in astonishment at the screen.  Had one of us simply lost Internet connectivity, I hoped?  Or did he just tire of talking to a silly American girl and pull out the ol' "my keyboard died" excuse to try to spare my feelings?  O, la douleur exquise!  I would soon learn after a few more hours logged on CR that unexpected disconnections, whether as a result of server overload, bad connections, or just plain boredom with the conversation are not uncommon.  C'est la vie.

Here's hoping that François did not intentionally break my heart, that Paul McCartney is well in the face of natural disaster, that Brian recovers from being first mistaken for a female and second for Ray Romano, and that Joie manages to recover from her Chatroulette addiction and become a productive member of society again.